


Incomplete

by Buggycas



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M, Post Sunnydale, Songfic, kinda deathfic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 20:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11020782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buggycas/pseuds/Buggycas
Summary: Love doesn't Conquer all. Sometimes, when the battle's over, it's love that suffers the most.





	Incomplete

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing. Seriously, Both Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Incomplete are owned by men, which I am not. I only wrote this because the music video for Incomplete is Incredibly gay, (Seriously, it looks like Nick and Aj are singing to each other!) and wanted to justify my calling it 'the gay song" with a slash fic.  
> *SPOILER* Note on the Deathfic? warning. We all know Spike died, we also all know Spike came back and told them not to tell anyone. this fic starts with Xander thinking about Spike who he thinks is dead, but has Spike, alive in it.  
> AN: I was recently reminded that I have a crap ton of old one-shots on this computer since this account is fairly new I figured I'd post them. These are mostly unbetaed, but I did put them through Grammarly.

_Empty spaces fill me up with holes_  
_Distant faces with no place left to go_  
_Without you, within me, I can't find no rest_  
_Where I’m going is anybody’s guess_

It's been Months, almost a year, And everyone around me thinks I'm mourning her. They never knew what happened after she and I ended. I was too embarrassed, And he was still in love with Buffy. The saddest part is that I didn't even know It was something more than physical until it was too late. now it's just me and my thoughts on the Serengeti and all I can think about is how much he'd hate the sun that's everywhere here. It's kind of Ironic really. I'm supposed to be looking for Vampire Slayers, and All I can think about is a Vampire that loved a Slayer, The one person I loved more than Anya. The one person who no one ever knew how I felt about him.

I wish he was still alive. I miss his teasing. I feel lost without him

_I tried to go on like I never knew you_  
_I’m awake but my world is half asleep_  
_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_  
_But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete_

I don't let the girls know what I'm thinking. My Slayers know I'm still mourning someone from the Hellmouth, but not who. I don't sleep much anymore either. I have nightmares, Sometimes he's alive, But he's the Old Spike, come to kill me. Sometimes He's still chasing Buffy's Skirts. Those hurt more than the ones where I relive his death, I feel like there's a hole in my heart.

how do you tell someone that the one person who made you feel complete is dead, and it's not who everyone thinks it is? It's impossible.

_Voices tell me I should carry on_  
_But I am swimming in an ocean all alone_  
_Baby, my baby_  
_It’s written on your face_  
_You still wonder if we made a big mistake_

Peaches knows I got a viewing glass, Poufter thinks I'm still obsessin' over tha slayer. No one knows it's the whelp that stole my unbeatin' heart. Doubt the Whelp ever knew it either. He was still in love with tha Vengeance Demon, I thought I was still in love with tha Slayer. I don' remember when it became more than sex. When that one-eyed boy became tha man in my heart.

Sometimes it feels like this little glass is tha only thing centerin' me. Keeping me from floatin' off. When the nightmares come, I want ta run to that sun-soaked place, Tell him I'm there, Chase the bad dreams away. The way his face twists, I wonder if he regrets bein' with me. I wouldn't blame him if I was chasin' him in them nightmares.

_I'd try to go on like I never knew you_  
_I’m awake but my world is half asleep_  
_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_  
_But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete_

The Whelp's not tha only one with nightmares though. I got nightmares of my own. a lot about that Caleb arsehole who blinded him in tha first place. Other things, all his death, I don' think I can live without the whelp, But I don't want ta ruin what life he's got by tellin' him I'm still here.

he made me feel more whole then Dru ever did, But I can never tell him that.

_I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go_  
_I don’t wanna make you face this world alone_  
_I wanna let you go (alone)_

I can't believe what Andrew reluctantly told me. That guy can't keep a secret for anything. But I don't want him to. I know I should let him move on. He told Andrew not to tell anyone he was alive, But I can't let him go. Spike's alive, And I need to tell him how I feel. I can't let him go until he knows.

_I'd try to go on like I never knew you_  
_I’m awake but my world is half asleep_  
_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_  
_But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete_

I Can't believe that nerdy arse hole told! The Bloody Wanker told the one person I never wanted to know. Jus as I was barely startin' ta move on. He looks like a bloody god stormin' in like that, He's put on muscle, and a tan. Looks like Chocolate with Caramel. Angry Chocolate with Caramel.

_Incomplete_

I can't believe I did that! I just stormed in, Decked the asshole for hiding he was alive, And then... Kissed him. I can't live without him, And I wanted to make sure he knew that I cared before I told him I loved him, and waited, It was the most amazing thing when he said he loved me back.

"I can't live without ya either pet," Spike whispered, and those words filled me like nothing else ever could. I know I don't like what's going on in the office, but I'm not going to leave if he's not. Without him, I'm just Incomplete.

 


End file.
